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AUTHOR
BIOGRAPHY
Hugo Rodriguez is a senior Psychologist with special interest
in the field of Effective Thinking and Mind Power. He completed his
Post-graduate degree at the Disillusioned with the little impact Marriage Counselling programs have had on the still alarmingly high rate of divorce, he designed a counselling program based on a set of evolutionary laws and principles of Effective Thinking, which he utilised and perfected over a period of 20 years. This book is the culmination of these works. His professional platform has built primarily from his
Psychological Practice (West Area Psychological Services), established in 1982. The Practice
has a referral database of approximately 1500 Medical Practitioners and 550 Law
Firms; mostly from the South Western Sydney area. During 1995 and 1998 Mr
Rodriguez conducted a series of Mind Power seminars throughout The most common and damaging
misconception in marriages is the belief that to have a happy relationship we
need to solve problems, those that arise whilst living together, or work out
differences between partners. Not only is this practice unnecessary but it can
actually be quite damaging and create more problems than those they solve. The
correct approach is a lot simpler and far more effective. One of the first
lessons you will learn from this book is that to make your marriage more
functional and fulfilling, you need to avoid working on marital problems and
focus instead on following the wisdom of a set of laws,
The Golden Rules of Marriage
which, when respected, cause most problems to vanish. Your relationship is governed
by specific laws; those that regulate your thoughts, your mood and your attitude
towards each other, and which make the game of marriage either easy to play or
very complicated. By adhering to these rules you will be fostering feelings of
wanting to be together, as different to having to be together, thus transforming
your marriage into the enjoyable and durable institution it should ideally be. You will learn that the
differences that separate you are the very constituents for the success of your
marriage, and that instead of eliminating these differences, you must profit
from them – your marriage strives on compatibility, not similarities. A crucial element in the
success of your relationship is to understand what true love is. You will be
pleased to know that love is something a lot simpler and a more down-to-earth
feeling than the way it has been typically portrayed. You will discover that the
force that binds you to each other is made of the same psychological
constituents that creates your attachment to all your possessions, including
your car, your computer, or your clothes. By understanding these forces you will
be able to appreciate the love you feel for each other in a more practical and
constructive manner. The future of your
relationship stands on answering ‘yes’ to two fundamental questions: “Is it easy
for my partner to love me?” and “Is it easy for my partner to live with me?” The
wisdom of the Golden Rules of Marriage is contained in these questions. They
refer to your ability and willingness to make matters easy and simple for each
other and on fostering closeness, the constituents that power your love and make
you a team. Answering ‘no’ to either of these questions foretells inevitable and
unsurmountable hardships. Life moves following two major
strategies: cooperation and competition. Your marriage strives and develops on
cooperation, and if you bring into it elements of competition, you are
effectively introducing the very means for making it dysfunctional. The Golden
Rules of Marriage are all designed to honour this fundamental premise, helping
you perceive the importance of working with, and never against your partner. There are six general Golden
Rules. They are designed to address specific marital requirements, the building
blocks of conjugal harmony. To honour them, you will be asked to consider making
some modifications to your attitude and thinking habits, aimed at promoting
mutual respect and harmony. In addition to these general
rules, there are gender-specific obligations that apply to husbands and wives
separately. They comprise concepts and strategies that both spouses must
implement individually to cater for each other’s needs, thus facilitating
teamwork and mutual gains. In Chapter VI, the Golden
Rules of Marriage are compiled into a training seminar that you and your spouse
can complete at home over a period of five weeks. It is a step-by-step
methodology covering the foundations of the rules and how they apply to your
relationship. A credit-point system will help you instigate the necessary
changes. You will also be asked to complete a questionnaire to assess the state
of your relationship before and after your training to appraise the benefits
obtained. In the last chapter, the book
narrates a real-life counselling intervention program conducted by a
professional psychologist. It demonstrates how these rules were implemented to
assist a couple with marital difficulties. The Golden Rules of Marriage are based on timeless wisdom depicted here under the scope of modern research. You will be confronted with challenging concepts extracted from a long ancestry of thinkers about how successful marriages have since immemorial times, relied on similar rules as modern relationships.
Chapter
I:
The foundations of your marriage As with so many other couples,
Martin’s relationship was far from happy; and like so many other people, he was
hoping for some guidance to resolve the seemingly endless conflicts and
discontent. Also, like it is so often the case, by holding to this strong wish,
one day he found the assistance he was seeking – in the most remarkable way.
Martin had been working in the Archaeological section of the National Library
for some time, and the discovery he made that night was the most astonishing
experience of his life. As if mysteriously escorted by a magic hand, whilst
removing some ancient ornaments from a 1000-year-old chest, he noticed what
looked like an ancient manuscript, covered in dust. It was impossible to tell
what the original colour was. On the cover page it read
“The
Golden Rules of Marriage.” In the gentlest way he picked
it up, sat on the edge of the trunk, and with trepidation he carefully turned
some of its pages. The manuscript was handwritten, but it was clearly not a
draft: the neatness and professional presentation of the calligraphy denoted
that this was indeed the final elaborate product of an ancient book. Martin
instantly realised that he had found a genuine, antique volume that had been
written prior to the advent of printing technology, at a time when all books
were handwritten, volume-by-volume. But there was something definitely odd about
this one. It had no author, no date and no information regarding who may have
been responsible for its contents. He needed a more expert opinion and, luckily
for him, the National Library was the right place to seek advice. Linda came to
the rescue. She was the newly appointed Director of the Research Department and
she was completing a doctorate thesis on relationships. Martin couldn’t believe
his luck – he was convinced that there was a special force placing him at the
centre of something big – but what? “This is not the work of a
single author,” Linda said, “but a compilation of chronicles gathered through
millennia, very likely written by many thinkers and philosophers over a very
long period of time.” “You mean like the Bible?”
interrupted Martin. “Yes,” answered Linda, “at
least 20 generations lived and died between the first and the last entry.” Linda was convinced that this
was indeed an archaeological literary rarity of great value; and what was most
astonishing was that the concepts contained in it appeared to be very similar to
those she was researching for her PhD thesis. “How could this very ancient
document be so conceptually similar to modern thinking?” Linda pondered. The
more she studied the book, the more these Golden Rules of Marriage likened her
modern research. Alone with her thoughts that night, Linda made a decision that
was to result in the most extraordinary cultural connection, she decided to
combine the teachings of The Golden Rules
of Marriage to the findings from her doctorate research to produce a work
containing the most ancient and the most modern. Martin instantly offered to
assist, in the hope that the information from this work would be the guidance he
was so desperately seeking to fix his relationship. And so, the quest began.
Why it is beneficial to be in a
relationship?
“In the realm of riches and contentment
man is bound by seven shining paths. Those who master these essential skills
secure their position amongst the Gods of pleasure. Enlightenment is but knowing
what these paths are, and which ones deserve most our thoughts. Think of your
wealth; this can be but the last in this list of priorities. Think of your
willingness to enjoy what you already possess; this is your second most critical
path; think of your health, your job, your success in sports; your sense of
self-confidence; these are amongst the other priorities. Think of your
relationship; you have now isolated the most crucial of all shining paths.”
Linda constructed the introduction for her book.
She wrote: Have you ever wondered what
brings happiness to your life? Is it your money or possessions? Or is it
primarily your social status, your personal qualities or your job? Or is it
perhaps leisure activities or success in your sports? Research has demonstrated
that none of these factors compare in value to the satisfaction generated by
your relationship. Of all the objectives we strive to achieve in life, a good
relationship has been identified as the most satisfaction-generating one. There
is consensus amongst health practitioners (Holmes B, Kleiner K, Douglas K, and
Bond M, 2003) that investing in people is what best guarantees life
satisfaction, and living in a happy relationship fulfils this best. Your
relationship is the most important asset in your life. A primary goal in life then is
to ensure that you are in a happy relationship with a compatible partner. The
effort, money and time you spend solidifying and improving this relationship is
the best guarantee to have a good life – in order of importance, other relevant
factors for life satisfaction include: “Being happy with what you already
possess”; “Your employment”; “Your philosophical beliefs and altruism”; “Your
looks and health”; and “Your wealth”. There are other benefits brought about by a happy relationship. Happy, long-married couples were found to live longer and be healthier and wealthier (Popenoe D, 2002). They also tended to have a more satisfying sex life, and their children enjoyed a better life, with lower levels of poverty. Click on the cart below to purchase this book:
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