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About the author
Kerry Jones
has been practising as a Neuro-psychologist since obtaining her clinical
training at La Trobe University in 1994.
She has
worked with patients undergoing rehabilitation for brain injury, in the alcohol
and drug field, in psychiatry and in aged care.
She has had a
longstanding interest in the interaction between cognition and psychological
adjustment across the lifespan.
Since
obtaining her doctoral degree in the field of human attention, she has worked in
the forensic area.
Alongside
this work she has embarked upon the precious journey of motherhood whilst
putting pen to paper at every spare moment.
Introduction
That which
bonds people to one another and connects them to the world of ideas surrounding
them reflects and shapes their identity as human beings. The bonds and
connections formed underlie emotional wellbeing and give meaning to the ideas
and experiences with which people interact. Alongside globalization and
technological advances, the human psyche is being bombarded with an abundance of
information and interaction. Unless the necessary thinking tools to keep
information anchored to personal realities are developed, information and
relationships can easily lose meaning. Without re-thinking the ways to connect
to one another and to information, quality information and interaction will be
replaced with quantity. Meaningful connectivity runs the risk of being replaced
by the meaningless bouncing around of ideas and conversation both within and
between individuals, and this has the potential to erode people’s sense of self
and psychological health. To preserve that which is valued about humanity –
connections to one another – amidst the onslaught of the information revolution,
time and effort is necessary to understand how bonds between people and
information are formed and how their meaning and resilience can be improved. The
most useful starting point in doing so is to understand how the brain connects
ideas, information and experience.
The links formed by the brain between chunks of information,
unique experiences and new ideas is central to connections with the outside
world and to each other. The software in the brain that links, stores and
retrieves experiences and knowledge has a bias towards the familiar. As people
listen to conversations, absorb ideas, or face new challenges, all the
information entering the senses reminds them of other similar encounters. Any
situation currently faced brings to mind emotions, ideas and possible responses
from past experiences that have something in common with the present. There is a
bias towards noticing and talking about similarities that gives comfort. In
conversation, similar stories are relayed and when advice is passed on, it is
done so based on similarities between problematic situations. When people link
and share information with one another based on similarities and familiarity, it
occurs so quickly and automatically that there is rarely awareness of the
process. It is a useful and adaptive way of using past experience and knowledge
to meet new challenges.
Problems arise though when too many similar experiences are
brought to mind or into conversation by others. This triggering of familiar
information gains such momentum that what makes each situation and person unique
is overlooked. When information about differences between each person and
situation is lost, ideas and experiences lose relevance to individuals and are
difficult to apply meaningfully. With too much information and haste, solutions
to one problem are applied to another before time is spent fine tuning them to
suit the uniqueness of the situation. When differences are not noticed, the
likelihood of miscommunication, misinterpretation and misapplication of ideas is
increased, and meaning is easily lost. Something else happens when differences
are neglected in human interaction. When only sharing similar opinions, ideas
and experiences in conversation, bonding occurs with one another based on these
similarities alone. The brain is storing information about feelings, thought
patterns, opinions and experiences shared in conversation, and it is the storing
of this information that, in a sense, forms neural bonds between people. Bonds
built only on similarities are less resilient to the effects of time and change,
however, and are challenged when differences do eventually surface. When
interaction includes sharing both similar and different opinions and experiences
from the outset, the bonding information stored by the brain includes a richer
profile of fellow humans with all their differences, with whom comfort and
companionship is still enjoyed. Bonds that can accommodate differences from the
outset are less fragile in the face of change and when differences do arise,
they produce less conflict.
Difference noticing is a thinking skill that can be acquired
in psychological therapy, incorporated into everyday conversation and
interaction, and nurtured in future generations through parenting and education.
Valuing differences amongst people – and valuing individualism – is a choice
that can be made to help anchor information and interaction to personal
realities and foster greater acceptance of the full range of human nuance. A
sense of self as separate to others as well as separate to ideas and information
people connect with, can help with decisions about where ideas and experience do
and do not apply. It can help people value uniqueness and difference in
themselves and their fellow human beings. With clearly defined boundaries
between information and between the self and others, people can be more open to
the different perspectives and experiences of others, and contribute to a more
welcoming society.
By the conclusion of Notice the Difference, it is hoped that
two central messages will have been conveyed: firstly, differences are at least
as important as similarities, and secondly, that by valuing individual selves,
the bonds developed and shared will be stronger. The following chapters will
present a model of how the brain connects to ideas and experiences and a way of
improving difference noticing in psychological therapy. The benefits of building
difference noticing into everyday interaction, and into the education and
rearing of children will be discussed and some practical ways of doing so will
be presented. The importance of keeping information and interaction focused on
unique personal realities will be emphasised, and it will be argued that only by
choosing to value individualism, can greater and more meaningful connection to
one another, and to ideas, be achieved.
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