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Introducing Michelle (Shell) Hillman Michelle Hillman known as Shell Hillman is a qualified Social Worker who
holds a Bachelor of Social Science, Diploma of Community and Human Service and
an Advanced Diploma of Counseling. Shell has been working with children and families for the past six
years. Shell, through her private practice provides counseling to children,
youth and families that are affected by separation and divorce, grief and loss
and abuse and trauma counseling. Previously Shell spent three years as a volunteer crisis counselor for
the SIDS Foundation, dealing with grief and loss for children and their
families. In 1997, Shell founded a youth scholarship scheme called Youth
Recovery 2000 for young people between 18-25 years to be trained and gain
employment in the hospitality industry. Currently Shell works for the Abused Child Trust as the Gold Coast
Business Development Officer. As an established author Shell wrote an inspirational book of short
stories and poems called Depths of Silence. This book was published on the Gold
Coast and proceeds from the book funded Youth Recovery 2000. Shell became well
known as an author and public speaker with the book selling 5,000 copies. Extensive media followed Shell’s progress and she was recognised by
Larry Anthony (Federal Member for Richmond).
Larry Anthony is currently the Minister for Children and Youth Affairs.
Shell was invited to a presentation in Canberra in 1997 to address the
Department of Education Training and Youth Affairs and received recognition for
her continuous work for youth in the Tweed Heads electorate of Richmond. Shell has a future
plan to become an established children’s author and advocate for families
covering various social issues that affect families today.
Shell can also diversify her talents to writing a series of children’s
interactive books based on the social issue of children going through family
divorce. In society today, statistics indicate that one in every two marriages
end in divorce. This has become a social problem that has impacted and placed
enormous constraints on our welfare and legal system. Parents need to consider
the psychological trauma that children experience when involved in a separation
and divorce. A sense of belonging
shapes the future existence of children in today’s society and the future of
our world. This gives us the determination to have desired goals and achieve in
a world that is plagued with insecurity and uncertainty. Assisting children to communicate and understand social issues relating
to separation gives parents the opportunity to educate and express their current
family unit. Shell has children of her own and has also experienced the many
difficulties as a sole parent. Shell has maintained her career in welfare and
has been creating resource material to assist children in counseling. “Is It
Me? Mummy and Daddy Breaking Up”
and “I have Two Houses” children on access are examples of her work. Shell has also fundraised for previous charity work with various children’s charities. Separation
Separation is an emotional and complex issue that affects all members of
the family unit. Issues such as financial matters and legal obligations in
regards to child support and access are greatly debated aspects of family
breakdown in society today. The forgotten people are generally extended family members such as
grandparents. The stress and trauma placed on children can also have adverse
affects. Children may show signs of emotional pain such as depression, rebellion
and symptoms of stress, such as lower school achievements, poorer health and
fewer friends. Factors that determine whether the distress is short lived or more long
term primarily depends on whether the parents can create a harmonious ongoing
relationship, stability for the child’s life and equal access arrangements for
the child. The more parents cause conflict by yelling insults, destroying property
and undermining the parenting skills of the other parent, this can cause
children to act out and be aggressive in play with friends and teachers and in
other cases children may become withdrawn and unable to communicate openly about
how they are feeling. Children can show signs of being non complacent when with
either parent. A reduction of household income can cause major instability for children
and the parents, especially if the standard of living declines. Relocating and
transfer of schools and neighborhood contacts leave both parents and children
isolated in the short term while they re-establish their lives. This can cause
stress as the custodial parent has less energy and time for their child. Women can be overwhelmed with the prospects of sole parenting as they
enter the world of employment and become concerned about financial matters and
being able to care for the child in daily living. Women can become depressed and withdrawn as they deal with their
emotions and declining self-esteem. Alternately, some women find new jobs,
develop new skills and expand their social existence. Mothers can become stricter, less playful and more inconsistent with
disciplining the children due to feeling of guilt over the separation and issues
with the change of lifestyle. This can create instability for the child as the
perceived role of the mother has changed. Fathers, particularly non custodial spend lesser time with their child
and the bond between Father and Child creates anxiety and stress for both
parties. Fathers can display outbursts of anger as they find it more difficult to
express their feelings and emotions. Fathers that share equal time with their child experience less anxiety
and stress and have a greater chance of having a healthier bond with their
child.
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