I really would prefer to remain behind the scenes as much
as possible in
The author comes from an engineering background but has also studied some psychology subjects at university.
Despite the complexity of engineering designs each part of the design process can be broken down into a series of rational and experimentally verifiable steps. In this way something complicated can be studied using simple logic.
Psychology, as a science has tried to emulate engineering but generally fails because the process of getting from the complexity that is the human brain to something that is rational and experimentally verifiable is in itself far too complicated and prone to distortion by the preconceived ideas of the experimenter.
The author has tried to blend engineering and psychology by using computers as an analogy for the human brain. Very few people understand the complexities of computers down to the nanotechnology they employ yet most can use them because programmers have simplified the process by inventing computer languages which allow people to utilise these machines without getting bogged down in the complexity of their design and manufacture.
Writing about these ideas has taken about thirty years.
The author lives in South East Queensland, is married and has three children. In order not to embarrass them too much she would prefer to keep her name under wraps.
CHAPTER 1 (part sample)
John Bache didnít much like the Beatles in the í60s, he much preferred the Stones. Satisfaction was Ďtheí song that seemed to sum things up for him. However the Beatles had one ability that absolutely fascinated him. It was their ability to get girls to swoon. Newsreels of the aftermath of their concerts in the í60s showed the area in front of the stage littered with the bodies of unconscious females. Police were there, armed with smelling salts, bringing them back to life. John reasoned that it would solve a lot of his problems with women if he could make one swoon but learning to play the guitar and becoming a famous rock star seemed like a lot of trouble to have to go to. John decided to look for a short cut by trying to find the triggers for this swooning behaviour.
The closest he came to realising his ambition in this area was quite by accident. He was in grade 9 at High School, standing on parade one morning when it seemed as if his horizontal hold went haywire. When the dust settled he found that a tall grade-10 girl standing directly behind him had fainted right on top of him. He had automatically tried to stay upright but her weight had forced him to the ground. He had to wait for the unfortunate girlís friends to lift her off him before he could stand.
It wasnít unheard of for somebody to faint on parade, unusual but not unique. What was suspiciously coincidental was that John knew this girl, not by name but certainly by sight. In those days grade 9ís didnít socialise with grade 10ís so John didnít know her name but this particular young lady was very tall for her age and this had led John to taunt her about it. In behaviour that today would be condemned as a form of bullying John used to compare her to a character on the Addams Family by going up to her and saying that he was Lurch-ified. Perhaps she had only pretended to faint on him to get even but there was always the tantalising possibility that somehow his behaviour had caused her to swoon. If so he only wished he could figure out what the instinctive trigger was so he could duplicate the process on a girl he was really keen on.
John had not always been confused by women. When he was very young he would make friends with girls and get along with them quite naturally. His mother would often tease him about his girlfriends. However little girls eventually become corrupted by what they are told. Stories such as fairy tales where the beautiful young princess is carried off by a handsome prince to his grand palace. In these stories the girls donít do anything much except look beautiful. The handsome prince fights any dragons that need to be seen off and then organises the castle while all the princess does is get waited on hand and foot. This was probably the reason John found girls increasingly difficult to approach, as he got older. They were no longer prepared to meet him on an equal footing rather it came down to two different modes of behaviour. Either it was a case of them being overawed by a Ďdashing princeí or Ďrock starí or more usually having the likes of John being in awe of them because of their womanly beauty. If the latter was the case the way to a womanís heart was to be found by working hard and then dazzling her with the fruits of his labours.
John thought that both of these alternatives involved a lot of work on his part. Becoming a rock star for example was no easy matter and it didnít end with just Ďbecomingí a star. It seemed to John that in order to keep a woman under such circumstances he would have to remain a star for the foreseeable future. All this seemed like a lifetime of slogging your guts out. The Ďhard working fruits of his laboursí option also looked like it involved a lot of effort on his part as well. There had to be an easier way.
There were exceptions though. When he was in grade 7 and walking home one afternoon he found that he was not alone. Walking beside and talking to him was Elaine, a beautiful little blonde. She was bright too, the Dux of the year in most exams and now she was spending time with John. Wonders will never cease. It appeared to John that perhaps the girl wanted to be friends with him. That would make a nice change from the rest of the girls who seemed to want nothing to do with him.
The next day things took a turn for the worst unfortunately. When John approached Elaine at school she snubbed him. She was talking to a friend and the prospect of making conversation with a boy in front of another girl was far too embarrassing. She had broken the cardinal rule, which called for girls never to make the first move. It was up to the boy to do the chasing. John did not dwell on this turn of events much and just assumed that Elaine had merely changed her mind about him. He took this snub as the end of a promising if short friendship and tried not to mull over it too much.
John had not read the same script as the girls. He did not believe in fighting dragons or other men for a woman. He believed that women should make their own free choice as to whom they wanted and not be the prize in a contest or something that could be bought with the Ďfruits of his laboursí. He also believed that women should behave as equals and when it came to who made the first move it should not matter and would preferably involve moves from both parties. What a poor naive little prat he was.
Two years later in High School John happened to bump into the little blonde again and greeted her. He then found himself on the end of a tongue lashing for mispronouncing her surname: something that apparently had been overlooked previously in the four odd years they had known each other. John quite naturally thought she had flipped her tiny blonde lid but he was to find that his type of behaviour was typical of would-be romantic encounters he would have with girls over the next 10 to 15 years. What was happening was that he was following the natural advice given to him by his instincts while the girls he met behaved in accordance to the way they had been taught. Australian women of the late í60s and early í70s were a strange bunch. On the one hand they were forbidden by their own code from approaching a boy but they had a set of instincts that were relentlessly pushing them in this direction. Elaine had dared on the one occasion to blatantly ignore the restrictions of this social code but had soon been pulled back into line. However there were other more socially acceptable methods by which a girl could arrange a meeting with a boy they wished to get to know. One of these methods was to organise a party and invite the male victim. This was a very round about way of doing things and as such was prone to slip-ups.
In year 10 a girl in Johnís class got her parents to organise a party to which all the class was invited. John had tried to make advances on her earlier in the year but had been rejected and then been subjected to a flurry of kicks to the shins as a way of emphasising the point. The girl had later changed her mind but it was not as easy as just coming up to John and asking him out. No, that would never do, hence the party.
For weeks she practiced spinning a bottle, finding out just how much effort needed to be put into it to get it to stop at the place she wanted it to. ĎSpin the Bottleí was one of those seemingly innocent games that were deemed acceptable for young teens, so that when John found himself seated in a circle he thought little of it. However the little shin kicker was about to pounce. She got her turn to spin and was able to get the bottle to point directly at John. Then she leant over and planted a kiss on his lips with the passion of somebody who had been dreaming about this moment for months. John was not prepared for the effect this would have on him and was quite dazed by the time he took the bottle and spun it. This time it stopped quite at random, pointing at the girlís younger sister.
Unfortunately for John, he was so worked up by the first kiss that he gave the young girl a kiss with plenty of tongue: not really appropriate in the circumstances. The girl was not amused and when she voiced her disapproval neither was the shin kicker or the other people at the party. Johnís admirer now found that instead of getting herself a boyfriend she had instead created a paedophile.
The embarrassing incident tore the shin kicker apart emotionally. Instinctively she still wanted John but on the philosophical side she could not justify this desire. In her mentally-tortured state the confusion caused her to give herself to other boys with whom she had no emotional attachment. A classmate told John that she was taking on all comers down the back of the oval. It wasnít until John got to university that the shin kicker worked up the courage to approach him directly. Early in his first year he went to the refractory one day for lunch to find her standing beside the entrance door where he could not possibly fail to notice her. Unfortunately by this time John was so sick of the stress she had caused him over the years that he simply ignored her.
The kissing incident had confused John as well and similar misunderstandings are common in adolescence. This confusion can lead to a build up of stress within both boys and girls, sometimes with devastating consequences. Johnís younger brother was one of the victims. Timís stress levels surfaced as aggression. He kept getting into fights at school and eventually he was placed into a mental hospital where he was pumped full of drugs. He changed within a matter of weeks from a lean, lively boy into a dazed, fat blob. The drugs he was prescribed dulled his senses but to Johnís mind did not solve the actual problem. Tim was having girl problems, nothing more, nothing less. Now he was a dazed, fat blob with girl problems.
John did not like the medical solution to his brotherís issues so when he felt the effects of similar stresses in himself he looked for another way around them. He came to the conclusion that the philosophy he had up until then was inadequate. He felt that if he had a different way of approaching the issues he would be able to be content without the need to take mind-altering drugs for the rest of his life. Therefore he decided to scrap the philosophy he had inherited from his parents together with the Christian-based ideas he had been taught by his teachers and society in general. In its place he would build a philosophy from the ground up, based on the instincts that Nature had provided.
Ahead lay the loneliest three years of his life. You may think that having a drink in a deserted pub is being alone but compared with having no philosophy it is nothing. As John struggled to build a new philosophy he questioned everything he had been taught and although, after much deliberation, he generally came to a reasonably similar conclusion there were always going to be differences. Religious beliefs for example became unsubstantiated assumptions because Nature now became Johnís only God and the instincts that Nature had bestowed on him became his only sacred script. Still this did not solve Johnís dilemma concerning women because the problem here was that women were listening to something other than their instincts and John had yet to understand the implications of this.
After he started university some of Johnís friends took
him to a party where he met a girl called Michelle with whom he got on well.
Unbeknown to John this girl had asked his friends to drag him along. In a
similar vein to the shin kickerís plan this party and Johnís arrival at it was
the result of a lot of planning on Michelleís part. She had known him in High
School but because she was in a younger year than John she was unable to mix
with him. In a different era and at a different school this might not have been
a deterrent but
Michelle meanwhile was devastated. If she had put as little thought and effort into her encounter with John as John had done she would have been able to dismiss it as easily as he had. However she had been intoxicated with him for years and forgetting him was going to be extremely painful. Still she tried. She went to parties and social gatherings with her girlfriends and dated a few eligible men but she still could not get John out of her mind. In the end she gave up trying to forget John and instead made excuses for his uninhibited behaviour. She had instinctively liked Johnís attention and eventually convinced herself that, like John, she could ignore her surroundings and pretend they were alone and unnoticed if it meant being with him.
This mental struggle did not resolve itself quickly and
it was a year or so before she tried to contact John, but there was a problem.
John had taken a year off from his university studies and was wandering around
Michelle returned to the scene of the party, Johnís parentsí house, a few days later to find out why John had not phoned only to be confronted with Johnís mum. Mrs Bache had seen Johnís scandalous display in the pool but instead of blaming her little boy she took out her distaste on the wanton woman who allowed her son to get away with it. No, Michelle couldnít see John. He wasnít home and could not be contacted. Just go away and donít come back.
She asked his friends but they were not able to tell her anything of Johnís whereabouts. She had lowered her standards to fit in with Johnís apparent lack of moral fibre only to be treated as if she were a slut by his mother. John had not contacted her and his mother blocked any attempt Michelle made to contact him. The girl quite unsurprisingly thought she had been dumped and was devastated.
During the month John was away from
Over the following decades John often wondered who that girl was at his 21st. It all seemed like a fantastic alcohol-fuelled dream. It was a shame he couldnít remember her name or how to contact her.
After this monumental stuff-up things could only get worse for John and they did. Australian women of the early í70s were united by the words of one Germaine Greer, a Womenís Liberationist with a unique ability to spit venom that could kill at 20 paces. She told women that they were repressed and being used as sex objects by men. This could only mean that it was going to get a whole lot harder for John to find female companionship. Women were now out for revenge and the leaders of Womenís Liberation often showed how infidelity and sexual teasing could be used to turn menís lives into hellholes of sexual frustration.
However in Nature there is generally a counter-measure that can be used for just about every dirty trick. Men had to learn these tricks or get trampled in the dirt. During this period women took to going out with one man and then dumping him for another in quick succession. The thinking appeared to be that this would keep men unsettled and frustrated. This appeared to be some kind of retaliation to compensate for the way that Womenís Libbers alleged that men used and then dumped women. Accusing people in such a general way usually solves very little but it was a terrific way of intensifying the animosity between the sexes in the í60s and í70s.
All John wanted to do was to satisfy his sexual instincts. That didnít involve sex alone but was part of a set of instincts devised by Nature that are meant to encourage people to settle down and raise families. John quickly got sick of women mucking him around and after some experimentation he devised a counter-measure.
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