FINALIST Ė 2012 Independent Publisher Book Awards
How many times do we ignore our instincts and what our investigative mind is trying to tell us? Well, eventually we have no choice but to listen and that is what my story is about.
years of marriage, it suddenly dawned on me that it was time to face the ugly
truth, so I did, after it was staring at me fair square in my face. There was no
denying the truth any longer as I had done for so many years prior.
Divorce and the Aftermath is dedicated to all the men and women in the world who
gave of themselves selflessly to their marital relationship, only to end up with
feelings of betrayal and stripped of all their self-esteem. Whose families have
been torn apart purely for lust?
expresses a way of getting oneís self pride back, turning the pain around and
showing how making life-changing decisions whilst going through such emotional
turmoil, can only make it so much worse.
my story and the mistakes I may have made, I hope it somehow helps those of you
to understand your journey.
The positive outcomes that you and only you can bring into your life no matter what happens to you can be the turning point at any given time.
It can be a
life-changing experience, allowing your life to move forward for the better.
I call it a better life, after all you must remember itís not what happens to you itís how you deal with it and I hope you can deal with it better than I did.
MY SPECIAL DEDICATION
mother, Elsie, who has always been a tower of strength and has taught me to
believe in myself. A woman who has gone through her own battles in life and
taught me that no matter what life throws at you to never give up; she is not
just my mother; she was and is my best friend.
Also to my
dear friend, Andrea, who has been my best friend for the last 28 years. She
importantly, she never judged me over the many mistakes that I may have made and
I believe that to be true friendship.
Chapter 1 (Part sample)
My story begins 22 years ago, a time when I chose not to listen to my instincts, as far back as when Bryce, my ex-husband and I started dating.
The telltale signs were there all those years ago but I chose not to listen to them, which was the beginning of the end for me and it took me 22 years to wake up; but I finally did. After all, some people never do.
Bryce was eight years my junior and was very arrogant with loads of confidence and a certain charm when I first met him.
He liked everyone to think he was really successful and had plenty of money but that was not how it was, in the beginning anyway.
He was and
is to this day, a compulsive liar.
I fell in
love with him although I knew he was very controlling and, unfortunately, I
mistook that for believing a man like that was a real man, a tower of strength,
how wrong I was! He was the type of person that would help anyone in a crisis,
particularly married women who were going through relationship problems.
I learned as time went on he just liked to play the hero. It was all for
self-gratification and not for the right reasons.
My first clue was the pornography books that he continually hid in the boot of his car or in a locked briefcase, you know, the pornography that comes in a sealed plastic bag. And still after being caught red-handed, denying ownership; his excuses were very imaginative but believable.
have realised who he really was then but I didnít. I was in love; he was a
romantic and I was in love with the thought of being in love. I should have
listened to my mother, who constantly reminded me that love is blind; she was so
for a couple of years before we were married and I have to say to this day it
seems like yesterday. Now when I look back and reminisce I cannot understand why
I did not recognise what was always in front of me. Bryce was the best liar I
had ever met. I used to find love letters in his car when we started dating and
he would tell me they were a joke from one of his friends; I believed him. It
should have been another clue, where was my intelligence?
day finally arrived, with no expense spared, but there was just something not
right. I felt so ill and doubled over in so much pain, so much so that I could
hardly walk down the aisle. I came to understand later that my body was trying
to tell me that this was a big mistake; one that I would regret for the rest of
my life. It is called listening to your instincts!
married for a couple of years Bryce asked me if I would have his children. I was
35 years old at the time, I already had two teenage children from a previous
marriage but those three little words always got to me, ďI LOVE YOU,Ē as he
would sayÖprobably too often.
Itís funny when I think back to those early days and realise the universe had given me so many clues as to whom Bryce really was, but I always ignored them. Even after being married for less than 12 months, I had found a private bank account where Bryce had saved all his commission cheques, leaving me to think he was doing poorly in his job and money was so tight. The arguments would follow but he always managed to give me hope and we would move on as we always did. This was a habit that would take me years to break.
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