Author Biography  

Kellie Wallace was born in Manly in 1985 and moved to the scenic central coast as a young girl.  

Her love for writing began at an early age. Her family always encouraged her talent. She wrote her first complete novel at 12 years of age. 

This is Kellie’s first published book. She now resides and works in Sydney.

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CHAPTER ONE 

Zack Langard was bored. Cradling his head in his hands, he thumbed through the pages of his mathematics book in absent thought. He stared out the narrow glass in the classroom door, watching other students pass as palettes of colour. In the distance he could hear his maths teacher, Miss King, discussing the same problem she’d been revisiting all week. She had become frustrated with her class’s lack of attention. “Now I’m not going to say this again…”

His classmates around him were glazed over in boredom. Only a few students were awake and eager to learn. There was a conspicuous hush that hovered in the room. Zack shut his eyes, welcoming the silence to daydream. He saw himself seated in a ferocious, red Ferrari speeding down a racetrack away from everything that smothered him. The adrenalin pumped his blood and made his nerves dance with excitement. Blissfully he broke out into a big smile that caught Miss King’s accusing eye back on earth. “What’s so funny, Zack?”

The hapless grin vanished and every eye in the room turned to stare at him. Two spots of colour warmed Zack’s cheeks. “Nothing’s funny, Miss King.”

“That’s not good enough Zack. See me after class.”

Zack hung back in the doorway as all of the other students emptied the room. When the last one was gone, Zack’s eyes fell upon Miss King who was waiting for him at her desk, her thick arms rolled in front of her like a pastry roll. “Zack?”

He rolled his eyes as he slowly trudged to the front of her desk where he stood swaying with boredom. He didn’t make eye contact as he cursed his lack of wit when it came to her lectures. Zack directed his gaze to the spot above her head as she began to speak about his concentration in her classes. “Your grades have declined in the past two weeks Zack. You’re not yourself lately, is everything OK at home?” she said. He rolled his eyes again and shifted his weight, nodding dutifully. “Yes, Miss King.”

“Are you listening to me, Mr Langard?”

Zack’s eyes had been drawn to a figure in the doorway. It was her. His heart began to thump melodically in his chest as she strode into the room and caught his eye. The large woman across from him sighed heavily with impatience when she saw the woman. “Mrs Fallon, please, I’m busy.”

Willow Fallon focused her gaze on Zack and flashed him a smile, dropping a pile of papers onto the woman’s desk. “I’ve heard about Zack’s lack of concentration during your classes. These are his grades from mine.”

As she leaned forward across the table, Zack spotted a bruise hidden under her sleeve. Zack sighed involuntarily at the sign of her abuse; her husband had been hitting her again.

Miss King thumbed through the pile and gave a defeated shrug. “I’ll let you off this time Zack, with a warning.”

“What happened to your arm?”

“What?”

“Those marks. How did they get there?”

Willow and Zack had taken refuge in her classroom as she lazily dumped marked papers onto the students’ desks. Zack had been troubled by the marks slowly reappearing on her arms. He pointed to the black bruise he had spotted earlier. Willow dropped a paper and looked at it wearily. “I bumped into the door last night,” She lied.

Zack gave her a questioning glance. “I thought you weren’t staying with Ellis anymore?”

“We’re separated Zack but we’re still married.”

“Then I know you didn’t crash into a door.”

Willow sighed and sat down at her desk. A shadow of exhaustion crossed her face. She forced a smile but Zack wasn’t fooled. He yanked a chair over and sat down, taking her hands in his own. He frowned, seemingly at a loss for words. “I hate seeing you like this. Leave him.”

Willow knew she was in too far now. She cradled her head in her hands and started to sob. “I can’t.”

She knew it was difficult to discuss her separation. It had dug deep into her heart, leaving a gaping hole. She longed for a normal life with the perfect husband but the only support she’d received was from his backhand. Her problems had been rooted long ago and she was incapable of letting him go despite the violence he thrust upon her. In desperation, she searched for a new life, discovering Zack. Ethically and morally, she knew what she was doing was wrong but they needed each other more then they both realised.

Zack looked up at Willow and saw her emerald eyes were charcoal with sorrow. “Willow,” he whispered. She bought her gaze to his and met the concern in his eyes. “Why can’t you leave him?”

“Zack, I wish it was that simple.” She paused and hung her head in thought, the idea becoming like a reality in her mind. She stole a glance at her watch. “Lunch is nearly over. I must get to my next class.” She went to get up but Zack caught her arm and planted a loving kiss in the corner of her mouth. As much as she enjoyed his affection, she couldn’t risk them getting caught. “We must go,” she advised, tugging at his school blazer.

As they entered the hallway, the school bell rang. Zack said goodbye and took off down the sea of emerging students.

“Willow?”

She turned to see the school’s history teacher, Verne Hall, running towards her, dodging the monotonous students coming his way. He reached her out of breath. “Willow.”

She couldn’t help but grin at him. A recent divorcee himself, Verne had a kindly nature that would make most women swoon at his feet but he was just as deprived for love as she was. “Why didn’t you call me last night? Is everything OK?” he asked, trying to hide the rising anxiety in his voice from the passing students.

“Something suddenly came up,” Willow lied. Verne leaned forward, subtly keeping his distance. “I understand if you’re a bit hesitant…about us. I mean you are coming out of a separation.”

Sudden annoyance rattled through her. There is no us, her head screamed. She pitied him and yet didn’t want any chance of a relationship with him. He had learned from experience that so many things can change so fast and the only thing one can do is to look for another who shares your burden. He pushed his glasses further up onto the bridge of his nose and attempted to smile, feeling awkward by Willow’s silence.

She shook her head. “Please don’t get involved with me.”

A shadow of doubt crossed Verne’s face, and then he turned and looked down the hall towards Zack who had stopped a few metres away, watching them. “Why were you with Zack Langard?”

Willow felt her stomach turn. She was dumbstruck, she had forgotten all about their rendezvous. “Uh.” She spun around to look at Zack before returning her gaze to Verne, searching her brain for an acceptable excuse. “He was having trouble in class. I was just having a word to him.”

Verne nodded, pushing up his glasses again. “He can be trouble, that lad. He can never seem to get his head out of the clouds.”

“Where were you at lunch?”

Zack sighed; it was going to be a long, uncomfortable bus ride home. His best friend, Gulliver Parr, fidgeted in the seat behind him. Zack, cradling his baseball bat in his lap, turned to look at his friend. The boy’s bright eyes shone with curiosity. “I had to see someone,” Zack said.

“Was it Mrs Fallon?” he asked in a mock tease.

Zack returned to face the front of the bus, disguising his blushing cheeks. “Yes.”

The next bump in the road sent Gulliver flying off his seat and slamming back down in a heap. The students around him erupted in loud cheers and laughter. Gulliver ignored the teasing and leaned over Zack’s seat casually. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with her lately,” he accused.

“I’ve been having trouble in class. She’s my mentor.”

Gulliver shrugged. “English isn’t everyone’s strongest point,” he said, giving Zack a sympathetic pat on his shoulder. Zack felt relieved and chuckled to himself; Gulliver had no idea what was happening and he wanted to keep it that way. Even though he couldn’t deny his feelings for Willow, he didn’t know exactly where his relationship with her would lead.

Zack walked into the house later that afternoon and closed the door behind him. He moved through the lounge room, passing his older sister, Bianca, nestled on the armchair. She had been waiting for him. “I know your secret Zack.”

He stopped, the frustration from the day beginning to resurface. “What secret?” he asked numbly. His sister climbed off the armchair and strode up to him, her childish smile masking her face. She leant close to his ear and whispered, “I know what you’re hiding.”

The exasperation hit boiling point and Zack lost his patience. “What am I hiding?” he quizzed, staring at her with rage in his eyes. Bianca was taking pleasure in his sudden temper. Her grin broadened, teasing him. “I saw you with her today.”

Zack’s anger sizzled. “What?”

“I walked passed and saw you two in her classroom. Getting pretty close, don’t you think?”

“What are you doing?” Zack asked.

His sister’s face calmed. “I should be asking you the same question.”

“Bianca, do at least one good deed in your life and don’t tell Mum.”

“What makes you think she doesn’t know who you’re always sneaking off to see after school?”

“She doesn’t know unless you tell her.”

Bianca pouted at his words. Something had changed in him the day their father had left. A spark was lit. He had become rejuvenated and free spirited by a new source of life. She had watched him die and come back with a love for someone else. Instinctively she wanted to protect her little brother, but she didn’t know how to let anyone else in. He did. Willow brought him up again from scratch, giving him a chance to live again. Bianca feared he would get his heart broken, but realised she couldn’t disagree with him.

A sudden mask of understanding crossed her face. “No Zack, I won’t tell Mum…yet.”

“Make sure you don’t,” Zack warned as he headed towards the kitchen. His mother, Anne, was waiting for him. “Are you ready for practice?” she asked.

Zack threw his bag down at his feet and flashed his mother a smile. “Sure am.”

By the time he reached the baseball park, the other players had already put a few extra minutes of practice in before Coach Andrew Lee arrived. Zack climbed out of the car and heaved his gear out. He threw the pack over his back and began jogging up to the pitch. The sun was warm on his face as he flipped on his cap. He squinted against the glare and smiled when he saw Bethany Williams standing in the grandstand. Her blonde hair glistened underneath the sun like pure spun gold as her green eyes scanned the pitch. She caught a glimpse of Zack and grinned back at him. When he reached her, she leaned over the railing and yanked on his cap, pulling it over his eyes. “What’s this?”

He felt giddy. She often came to practice to watch the players but soon became a distraction herself. She was intelligent, beautiful and mysterious. Zack could have had a relationship with her but Willow had taken his heart.

“You come to watch?” Zack asked.

Bethany flashed her light bulb smile at him and nodded. “And to see you too.”

“Zack!”

He turned to see Coach Lee standing impatiently at the pitch with the other players. “Get your head out of the clouds. Come over here.”

Bethany flashed him a sympathetic smile as he jogged up to the team.

Zack was distracted during practice but it wasn’t Bethany sitting up in the grandstand that clouded his thoughts, it was Willow. She’d been wary of the thought of him discovering the resurfacing of Ellis’s bad habits. “I can’t leave him.” Her words were traumatized and drained. There’d been something in her voice, a pain and urgency that told him she couldn’t live this way anymore. He couldn’t deny what she was saying; he’d seen Ellis hit her once before. Once, after school, Zack had been the last to leave the classroom. Outside, he’d seen Willow arguing with an older man who had appeared from another car. Fearing they would see him, he ducked below the window panel and listened. The man’s voice rose violently, piqued by hysterical outbursts from Willow. Zack’s curiosity wavered when he’d heard one final yell then silence. Startled, he’d looked up in time to see the man whip his hand hard across Willow’s face. The blow almost sent her flying to the concrete of the car park. She’d tried to regain her composure but struggled on her feet. Anger began to boil his blood. He’d positioned himself to jump out of the window but stopped. The man had leaned in close to Willow’s face, whispered something and then left. Her sobs echoed through the deserted school grounds. 

When Anne came to pick him up an hour later, he collapsed silently into the car. She didn’t attempt to ask him what was bothering him until they were a few minutes away from home. “How was practice today?”

Zack murmured a reply, before turning to look out the window.

“Zack, honey, you seem distracted. Is everything OK?”

“Yes.”

“You must be focused for the big final next month.”

“Mum, why did Dad leave?”

Anne’s heart jumped into her throat. As much as it hurt to see her son struggle with the mess his father had left, he hadn’t even mentioned him in over a year. She assumed he had grown out of the pain.

 “I’m finding I need him more lately.”

“Your father realised he wasn’t capable of looking after you and your sister,” she said bluntly. Anne paused, and then turned her eyes towards her son, trying to find the right words to say. “I find I need him more too, honey.”

The remainder of the ride home was silent. When Anne pulled into the driveway, Zack climbed out and headed for his bike in the garage.

“Where are you going?” she asked, lugging his pack out of the car.

Zack was already on his bike. “Somewhere to clear my head.”

He headed in the direction of Willow’s home.

During the ride, Zack’s mind was so clouded with thoughts that he didn’t see Ellis Fallon fly past him in his black Mercedes. When he arrived at Willow’s single-storeyed home, it was foreboding. He felt unsettled by the silence; something was wrong. He jumped off his bike and discarded it on the front lawn, then jogged to the front entrance.

When he knocked, the door swung open with a rusty creak. Panic started to press hard against his throat.

“Willow?”

Her car was in the driveway and she always came straight home to prepare for classes the next day. As he stepped cautiously into the silhouetted lounge room, he cursed to himself that he didn’t bring his baseball bat. He scanned the room for an alternative weapon. He spotted the fireplace and sprinted across the room, lifting the poker out of the barrel. He weaved between the rooms calling out Willow’s name, primed for an attack. He passed the bathroom door, which was slightly ajar, illuminating white light. A knowing fear began to jab at the pit of his stomach. He pushed the door open, positioned his weapon and gasped. Willow was in the bath, her shoulders hunched and eyes downcast. Her skin, sickly white, was almost transparent against the white of the tiles. Her blonde hair hung in damp ropes around her face was now black from the water. Her thin, naked frame was shivering against the chill. The poker slipped out of Zack’s grip as he tore into the room, the echo sounding around the bathroom walls. “Willow? What happened?”

He ripped a towel from the towel rack and threw it over her cold shoulders. She didn’t respond to his voice, instead she blinked and kept looking down, her eyes hazed. Zack dropped to his knees; breathing hard, he gingerly twisted her chin towards him.

“He hit me.” Her words slewed out in a somnolent breath. 

Zack’s eyes widened at the sight of Willow’s black eye. He went to touch it but drew his hand back when she flinched. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Tell me what happened.”

“He went out,” Willow said, delusion taking its grasp on her. Zack brushed her hair out of her face and sighed. Her eyes suddenly widened with fear. “You better go. He’ll be home soon!”

“You’re coming with me.”

“I can’t Zack. If he comes home and finds the house empty, he’ll turn the town upside down looking for me.”

“I’m not leaving you to be left as a punching bag.”

His words triggered a dormant reminder of what had just happened; Willow’s eyes began to swell and tears stained her porcelain cheeks. Zack frowned as he was overcome with pity. He brought her face to his chest and cocooned her in his arms as she wept.

Two hours later, Zack convinced Willow to join him at the local park to give her sense of well-being and familiarity. To avoid Ellis catching them, she slipped on a large summer hat and black glasses, guarding her beauty.

The warmth of the sun on their faces kept a promise of becoming a pleasant afternoon. The sight of free spirited children lifted Willow’s sorrow. She grinned wildly at Zack who ran over to the swings and jumped on, irritating the younger children. She wanted to thank him for his selflessness. He’d been the most stable part of her life but as she looked at him now, playing on the swings, the feelings of tenderness returned and lifted her heavy heart. In her eyes, he’d always stood above any man. She knew how difficult it would be to will those feelings away.

She walked over to him and laughed at the line of children waiting impatiently for their turn. “Zack, I think you are too big for these swings.”

He looked at her stubbornly, and then smiled. “OK,” he replied, pulsing through the air once more and then catapulting himself from the swing. He took her hand and weaved her to the shadowy protection of a tree. He sat down and waited for her to join him. Her smile widened adoringly and his heart thumped. A joyful Willow was difficult enough to resist; when she smiled at him that way, it took all his willpower not to kiss her. She pushed the sunglasses down her nose to reveal beacons of emerald. “Slow down Cowboy,” she teased as she positioned herself on the ground, crossing her legs. Zack threw his head upon her lap and looked up at her with big blue eyes. She felt it hard to resist drawing her fingers through his sandy blonde hair. “I’ve been meaning to thank you for helping me.”

He lifted his head to steal a kiss but Willow grinned and threw her hat over his face. “Not here Sport,” she said. From underneath the hat she heard a muffled reply and she lifted it off his face. Zack then released a smile that sent her heart racing. Compelled, Willow scanned the playground for any spectators and placed a quick kiss on his cheek.

“What was that for?” he asked, with an arch of an eyebrow.

Willow felt herself blush. “Nothing.”

“Why won’t you tell me what happened between you and Ellis?” Zack abruptly asked.

She frowned. “Where did that come from? Zack, it’s between my husband and me.”

He’d been convinced that she had it under control, but after that afternoon, he couldn’t escape the thought that he could have lost her for good. He couldn’t continue in this world, without thought, without feeling, without her. He just needed closure.

“Just…um,” he paused, trying to rephrase. “I’m only looking out for you.”

Willow was touched but she resisted the temptation of showing it. “I know you are but it is my business,” she said. “I don’t want you to get involved.”

They sat in silence and watched the sun slowly make fish-net patterns on the grass at their feet. Willow felt wedged by the uncomfortable hush and decided to leave. She lifted Zack’s head off her lap and rose to her feet. “I better head back home in case Ellis is waiting for me.”

After Willow left, Zack remained at the park. He collapsed between the blades of grass and smiled as the wind gently brushed them against his skin. He couldn’t be more at ease. His eyes slowly drifted shut and he began to slowly nod off. But things are different now. The thought emerged from the back of his mind and his eyes flew open. He rose to his elbows and took a look around him. He was foolish to think that someone had said it. But he knew it was right; things are different now with Willow. She knew Ellis suspected them. The beatings hadn’t begun until after Willow had returned from a school excursion and Ellis had been waiting for her. He’d attacked her publicly, in front of the students and her co-workers. The next day she came in hiding bruises and a black eye.

They knew from that day forward that they could no longer slip away, no longer could they hide out in the classroom during breaks or show their relationship in public. At the start Zack hadn’t wanted to rush into it, the risk was too high. But there was something in Willow that had bought out an untamed wildness in him that he wanted to explore. He’d made a decision to be with her, yet there was an emotional struggle that burdened them both. Willow was still in love with Ellis.

“There you are. How was your ride?” Anne said, nearly colliding with Zack as he entered the kitchen. Zack followed her over to the bench as she began to chop the vegetables for dinner.

 “There’s nothing to worry about Mum,” he said as he received a slap on his hand for pinching a slice of carrot.

Anne tilted her head suspiciously. “Your rides aren’t usually this long. Did you see one of your school friends? Was it Bethany?”

Zack felt his cheeks blush and Anne’s face lit up. “Oh so it was Beth.”

“How do you know about her?”

She chuckled. “I have my sources.”

Zack shot a glance at Bianca who was lazily crumpled over the lounge. She caught him looking at her and stuck out her tongue. “How does Bianca know about her?” Anne asked.

Zack returned his gaze to his mother and shrugged. “Not sure. Maybe they’re in the same class.”

“She is in one of my classes,” Bianca announced as she came in from the lounge, sneaking past him. She leaned past Zack to grab an apple, taking the opportunity to whisper in his ear. “Willow teaches me too.”

As long as his mother didn’t suspect Willow, Zack thought he’d play along. “It was Bethany, she needed help with school.”

“That’s so lovely, honey. When will I meet her?”

“Yeah, Zack when will we meet her?” Bianca cooed.

A mask of guilt washed over his face. He felt his cheeks blush at the naïve stare from his mother. He smiled feebly before Anne became suspicious. “One day, Mum.”

Willow sat down at the kitchen table with weary satisfaction after the hours of work she’d put in at the stove. Sitting across from her was Ellis inconsiderately eating his food ferociously. She eyed him with curiosity as she picked at her meal. He attacked the piece of meat with his knife and fork, tearing at it like a starved carnivore. She sighed as she observed him. Ellis was primal and carnal and had never displayed any real emotion or tenderness ever in their marriage. Her husband had never brought a gentle touch when he outstretched his hand, but Zack touched her the way no man had before. It brought strength and audacity to overcome her deepest fears. Ellis noticed her in absent thought and frowned. “What’s your problem woman?”

She shook her head and smiled at him. “Nothing, honey.” Then her eyes fell to his bare left hand. “Where is your wedding ring?”

He shrugged with a grunt, and then looked at his hand. “Didn’t feel like wearing it.”

“I haven’t seen you wearing your ring all week.”

“Does it matter?” Ellis exploded. He brought his fist to the table, making everything leap into the air and fall back down in a heap.  “You have to wear yours because you belong to me, like the bitch that you are.”

Willow remained tentative and kept her eyes to her food. She felt like a bird with broken wings in his control. She had no room to move and no place to hide. Tonight she would face him.

“Ellis?”

When he looked up from his dinner, his cold eyes destroyed her determination. “What?”

“I…uh.” The words wedged in her throat and she began to stutter.

Ellis looked impatient and suspicious. “Spit it out!”

“Uh…” Her heart shattered as she realised she couldn’t do it tonight. “Do you want another chop?”

Ellis eyed her curiously. “What’s going on with you?”

Willow shook her head innocently. “What do you mean?” she asked, leaning over the table to grab his plate.

“Don’t play dumb with me. I know what you’re hiding.”

Willow rose to her feet and gave Ellis her back as she headed for the kitchen. Her cheeks flushed scarlet as her mind raced. He couldn’t know she thought. She had no desire to spend time alone with him and she spent most of her hours at school. She just hoped it was her absence from home that angered him. She turned to look at him and judging by his expression, it wasn’t that. He climbed off his chair and charged up to her, placing his menacing face inches from her own. His starchy breath collided with her fear. The anger in his eyes flourished as every muscle in her body tensed. He pushed her hard against the kitchen bench and she winced as she became wedged against a protruding pot handle that was poking out from the sink.

“What are you hiding?” Ellis asked, lowering his voice to almost a whisper.

Willow shook her head, shifting her body away from the handle. She urged her limbs to move. “I don’t have anything to tell you.”

His eyes narrowed to slits and he placed both hands on the bench on either side of her so escape was impossible. “Liar.”

Uncharacteristically, his face relaxed and he turned his back on her. Willow sighed with relief and rubbed her aching back. His fuse had blown out as quickly as it had begun. His menacing voice echoed in her ears and fear still gripped at her gut. She wished it would never return. As if he read her mind, Ellis spun around and whipped her across the face, toppling her to the floor. Through clouded eyes, she saw him loom over her.

“I will find out sooner or later.” He turned and walked to the lounge room leaving Willow to weep on the cold tiles.

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