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Author Profile
Matthew Eckford is from Brisbane Queensland and currently sits on the
Board of Directors for the Foundation for Young Australians. He has travelled
and spoken on numerous occasions on the topic of 'Young people in rural and remote Australia'. Not a doctor or psychologist by any means, Matthew currently works as a
commercial real estate agent as well as managing his own successful Internet
marketing business. His variety of awards and recognition include: • Federal
Government's Regional Initiative Award 2002 • National Finalist
Young Australian of the Year 2002 • Telstra
Countrywide Rural Young Achiever of the Year
• Qld Finalist
Young Farmer of the Year 2002 • McKinlay Shire
Council Young Citizen Award 2002 • Qld Regional
Achievers Award 2002 • Qld Outback
Achievement Award 2002 • Qld Primary
Industries Week Young Achiever • My Business
Magazine Young Gun Award 2003 HOW IT ALL STARTED
Browsing in a bookshop one day I noticed rows of
different books that analysed and interpreted teenage behaviour. Doctors and
psychologists had written them for parents trying to better understand and raise
their teenagers into adulthood. I also observed that there were no books about
the reverse situation. What about teenagers trying to better understand their
parents? Why were there no guides for them? A Teenager’s Guide to Parents grew from interviews I conducted with parents from various backgrounds, cultures and environments. I had not planned a series of questions; what started as an informal attempt to get parents to talk about their feelings towards guiding their teenagers triggered in them an overwhelming eagerness to express themselves. The idea of turning these interviews
into a guide occurred to me when I thought of the demand there must be for a
book that accurately explained why parents say and do the things they do. At the time of writing I am 21 years
old and definitely not a doctor or psychologist. I never understood or even
listened to a lot of the advice my parents gave me when I was a teenager; it is
only now that I am a young adult that some of their opinions are beginning to
make sense. In every discussion the parents were
very concerned about protecting their teenagers and providing them with the best
opportunities and securities to enable them to survive and grow. While many
views were expressed, do not see these interviews as the full range of attitudes
held by the entire parent population. As I interviewed different parents
and began to write this guide an underlying theme emerged: Teenagers were
influenced by many groups throughout childhood. By the time a child becomes a
teenager, morals, values and attitudes are already instilled. For parents to be
a major influence on their teenager requires an early communicating
relationship. Therefore parents strive to the best of their ability to develop
an early communicating relationship that fosters openness and honesty in order
to discuss and resolve issues. A communicating relationship with respect for
each other – less telling, more asking – and a friendship rather than a
dictatorship. Your parents have to weigh up if being honest and disagreeing with
your decisions, with the intention of protecting you, is more important than
supporting your decisions that they disagree with to allow you to be more
independent and build a better communicating relationship. A Teenager’s Guide to Parents does not present any statistics, but here is a profile of the parents: They are all middle class and live in Brisbane, Queensland. Most of them have jobs or have worked at some stage in their lives, some are single parents, and some are still teenagers themselves. Emotionally and intellectually they seem to be a normal, average group of Australian parents. What is a normal parent? The
perception of a normal parent is different for every teenager. Upon reaching
adulthood some of you will realise your parents were right about a lot of
things, while some of you will confirm your parents did not have a clue.
Whichever conclusion you come to, realise that your parents’ advice and
opinions were what they thought were best for you. There are many topics and issues
concerned with being a teenager. This guide covers the fourteen topics and
issues that the interviewed parents felt were important; most of them I have
personally experienced. I have included my own experiences in A Teenager’s
Guide to Parents so that you the reader will know it is not a doctor or
psychologist writing about parents, rather a young adult who was a teenager not
that long ago. By being honest and open about my own experiences I know you will
be able to relate with me, enjoy reading this guide, and be more inclined to
think objectively about your own situation. No doubt some of the situations and
experiences of my teenage years were not exactly the same as those of other
teenagers. I am not saying that my parents’ attitudes or approach were right
or wrong. As you read this guide you will begin to realise that there is
no right or wrong; rather there are parents just wanting the best for their
teenagers. My father once told me that although
his methods were not perfect his intentions were. I idolised my parents and
believed they were capable of far higher standards than those they held; in
other words I thought they should have been perfect. I unrealistically expected
that they should always do exactly the right thing, all the time, failing to
realise that they are human, like me, and make mistakes. Your parents want the best for you,
so they encourage, support and sometimes pressure you in order to instil
relevant values and skills for adulthood. Every parent has his or her own ideas
on what is best for their child. You do not have to follow in the footsteps of
your parents or share the same beliefs and values. The purpose of A
Teenager’s Guide to Parents is to help you realise that what your parents
are trying to do is teach you to take advantage of the opportunities that will
enable you to survive your teenage years in the best way possible. What makes this book special is that it is a guide from a young person to young people. Furthermore, it is different from many other books about teenager-parent relationships as it reveals accurately the views of parents today, while giving real attention to the problems they face. You may or may not make different
choices after reading A Teenager’s Guide to Parents, but hopefully you
will be more interested in finding out and understanding where your parents are
coming from. Click on the cart below to purchase this book:
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